GOD VS. SATAN

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach
and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the
99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries
with that?"

And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her
figure that man found so fair.

And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and
brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And woman
gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese.

And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive
oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so
big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad
cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those
extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not
have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man
gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought
forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center
into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip
also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled
in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed, and created quadruple bypass surgery, angioplasties,
and stints.

And Satan created HMOs...

someone besides myself finally noticed that the french don't think like normal people!!!!

okay, I told Nolan I'd work on some ringtones for him, but not owning a cellphone, i can't test them, and I made enough fool of myself already. tell me if these sound right to you.... and steal them if you want. ;)

mc hammer-U can’t touch this baseline:
DDCBAAAEGGGBAAAADDCBAAABGGGBAAAA

Tool-Lateralus:
DDAAGAGCCAAGAGGDDAAGAGCCAAGAGGAAAGGAAAFFAAAA

uhhhhh not quite???
Hives-hate to say I told you so:
F#F#F#F#F#EEEEEFFFFFDDDD--shortened

RHCPs-Californication: (btw my dad just told me that the RHCPs are VILE....but their TUNES! are GOOD!) AABCCCDDGAAA AABCCCDDGAAA GDEGFBDBADD - this one needs MAJOR work. I knew that. but can't quite figure it out yet.

Gods, I love how baseball players are so dang superstitious...it really adds to their charm. Here is a story about the Red Sox and a piano at the bottom of a pond.

the top cartoon googled for in france in Oct. of 2002 was good old TIN-TIN!!!!!!!!!!!! *cheers wildly*

sooo..... we've got Felipe Alou. My dad has his autograph in his Bible, from a time he came to speak to his youth group or something. 1962 or so. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have to replace dusty baker except for..... dusty, of course. *cries* And now I guess we'll watch Lofton (my new favorite), Kent, and J.T. go...... tragic. Very tragic.

11/14/02
My mom has recently introduced me to the inexhaustible resource and amusement of NRO--and toady I noticed the latest: an article by John Derbyshire on how Google is now a verb. hehe, yuuuuuup....

I went to Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator, made a complaint, took it to The Dialectizer, and here is what I got: (come on, LAUGH! I didn't even write it!) Yes, I know, I'm wasting my time. But I didn't have anything good to say, soo........

Even as I sit hewe, I can't bewieve I'm wwiting this. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! I've nevew been one to voice my opinions in such a pubwic mannew. But aftew weawning that Mw. Gway Davis wants to show us a gwoss miscawwiage of common judgment, I fewt I at weast had to set a few things stwaight. Wet me begin by saying that it's unfowtunate that he has no weaw education, uh-hah-hah-hah. It's impossibwe to debate impowtant topics wif someone who is so mentawwy handicapped.

Didn't he teww his co-conspiwatows that he wants to cwippwe his enemies powiticawwy, economicawwy, sociawwy, mowawwy, and psychowogicawwy? Did he fiwst give any thought to what wouwd happen if he did? Of couwse, that qwestion is widicuwous -- as widicuwous as his wefwactowy musings. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Fow the most pawt, he is a smaww pawt of a wawge movement that seeks to intwoduce disease, ignowance, sqwawow, idweness, and want into affwuent neighbowhoods. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Stiww, if you wead between the wines of his eqwivocations, you'ww twuwy find that the sun has nevew shone on a mowe noisome and ethicawwy bankwupt pewson than Gway Davis. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Fow pwoof of this fact, I must point out that I feew no mowe pewsonaw hatwed fow him than I might feew fow a hewd of wiwd animaws ow a cwustew of poisonous weptiwes. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! One does not hate those whose souws can exude no spiwituaw wawmth; one pities them.

If it wewe up to Mw. Davis, schoowchiwdwen wouwd be taught weading, 'witing, and wacism. Despite the obvious fact that when he is chawwenged, Mw. Davis eithew denies evewything ow cwaims that his wowds wewe taken out of context and that his enemies awe pwotting against him, Mw. Davis's popuwawity is ovewwated. Dat concept can be extended, mutatis mutandis, to the way that we can't stop him ovewnight. It takes time, patience and expewience to mention a bit about abominabwe, jeawous heww-waisews such as Mw. Davis. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Simiwawwy, time cannot change his behaviow. Time mewewy enwawges the fiewd in which Mw. Davis can, wif evew-incweasing intensity and thowoughness, exhibit cwuewty to animaws. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! He has a natuwaw tawent fow compwaining. He can find any aspect of wife and whine about it fow houws upon houws. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! A wowd to the wise: It may be hewpfuw to take a step back and caww fow pwopew discipwinawy action against Mw. Davis and his suppowtews. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Wet's wemembew that. Whiwe this wettew hasn't pwovided anything in the way of a concwete pwan of action, it may hewp us focus ouw thinking a wittwe bettew when we do wowk out a pwan, uh-hah-hah-hah. Fow now, we must pewfowm nobwe deeds. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! I wiww weawwy be happy to have youw hewp in this endeavow.

...Why even HAVE the lettew "R" on the keyboawd?

For all Lord of the Rings Fans: go here (amazon.com if that link doesn't work) to pre-order the special edition DVD - $25.99 and no shipping if you do it before the 12th. thought you'd like to know. I'm doing it as soon as my mum comes home with that credit card... ;)

Have I told you guys about shag art? Last Christmas, at my piano recital, Caroline gave me a planner that he illustrated - and there's his website. Very cool; check it out.

The idea that there is nothing new under the sun has been hitting me rather hard lately. There are no truly "new" ideas; only ideas that spring from the fundamental ones. In the same way, there are primary colors, but almost infinite colors that can be made from them. Daniel Silliman touched on this idea while talking about Referential Totality. There is a young man who thinks... although I don't always agree completely. He's a very extreme conservative, and an old friend of the family's.

There have been three new libraries arriving in this town in the last 2 years, approximately - the one at Sonoma State University (that's got to be my fav.), the regular City Library, the opening gala of which I was a volunteer waitress...... and also our highschool has a recently-budget-approved new library. I like books, and I believe libraries are places that should be oft-frequented, and so I"m happy.

Today I had to explain to a friend of 7 years how Catholics are Christians. She said they weren't because they worshipped Mary. And she's not even Calvinist! It was really disturbing. She started out the conversation asking why I was disappointed when I found out a certain guy was Jewish, but I hadn't been bothered at all when my best guy friend was Catholic. Hmmmmmmmm, I wonder.

Today was interesting. I have been avoiding a lot of 9/11 hype since about 9/25 of last year… I got over it pretty fast; I guess I wasn’t terribly surprised, even though it was so incredibly horrendous (and I am being quite honest in saying that; I’m not as calloused as all that)… Maybe because I was so confident that God was in perfect control. I think that since 9/11 patriotism and an “f-muslims” attitude and crying over the whole issue has become a sort of religion for secular America. Hope I’m not exaggerating too much.
Anyways, I was brave and turned on KLLC San Francisco’s talk show this morning, the one I listen to if I listen to anything. It’s very weird and liberal, but every once in a while I listen just because I like Sara (one of the hosts) and Cathy (the traffic person). It was actually somewhat nice to hear about it all again, to re-live the day for a few moments. My family seems to be shunning the topic like gay parades or something; I’m not quite sure why. Yes, it’s over-hyped and over-cried-upon, and such. But it was a day that unified our country just for a bit, and that’s good. It also presented a concrete example of evil for our confused country to look at. YES, there is a difference between good & evil; I don’t go for that relativism crap.


What was I doing last year? My hair, if you must know. And then my mom came to the door and said “a plane crashed into the world trade center!” And I said, embarrassingly, “oh.” Because I had no clue what the world trade center was; for all I knew it was on the other side of the world. Then 15 minutes later I came downstairs to find the radio blaring and phones ringing off the hook; my sister for my mom, Caroline (my best friend) for me… by the time she called I was in total shock, because I understood better. We were just on the phone going “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh” every few minutes, not really having anything to say but just needing each other. We went out to buy me a new journal that day, and there was no music on the radio. It was like the county seat was a ghost town – was everyone sitting in their homes mourning? I had just started a new, very hard class the day before, and sat at the table trying to concentrate on homework. I gave up. The next few days are crystal-clear in my memory as well, but mainly just that Tuesday.
I remember praying extensively, thanking God for keeping so many people from going to work that day. Praying for his deliverance. Praying that fire and brimstone would rain down on Bin Laden’s greasy little head. Caroline and I figured Bush would declare war on someone on one of our birthdays, which are the 18th and 19th. He did that before then, of course. But really, I was pretty much over the whole deal within a few weeks. I had, and still have, compassion for all the families that lost loved ones. A lot of empathy there. But I am pretty secure; I’m ready to die anytime, because I know where I’m going. I know that this is all going to be worked out for good in God’s plan, so I’m not overly concerned. But I understand why someone who does not believe in a God or understand who He is would be freaked out completely. For years to come.

I was reading an interesting interview this morning with a teacher named Rev. James V. Schall. He touched on an interesting point, quote:

“The shrewdest thing that the Islamic forces did so far was not to do anything else, except perhaps bluster. This lack of further attacks that would unify the country has served rather to divide us. We are now asking about the logic of the Bush doctrine to find and destroy any potential power capable of repeating what was one on September 11. …. Certainly, Mr. Bush is in a dilemma. If he does nothing further (as seems to be what is most likely) and an attack of some sort does come, he will be accused of incompetence. If he launches a war and is successful, it will be said that there was no real threat -- no matter what evidence appears on investigation. If he launches a war and is not successful, things will be as bad as possible.”

I need say no more.

I would like to say a word on “Islamic Profiling.” Let me first say that I would hate to be from the middle-east at this time. There are many hate-crimes, and I’d be ashamed of my country (whichever one it was), and I would most likely hate being singled out at the airport. I do not endorse hate-crimes, and I have nothing against the average Arab personage in the U.S. I can be friendly, I can say hello, I can smile and nod as I pass you on the street. I’m not blaming you personally for any of this.
But when I hear girls on the radio calling in and complaining about how they had to take off their flip-flops at the airport and how unfair it is that they are singled out just for the color of their skin… think about what you’re saying for a moment. (Yes, I realize that no Arabs are reading this. Whatever.)
The terrorists we are guarding against are of your race. That does not mean you are a terrorist; it simply means that it is highly unlikely to see a Caucasian in the service of the Taliban. So we are simply taking less time than we’d have to if we were doing double-checks on everyone (seeing as we have to do some of that), and singling you out. Please help us here! It only makes sense! It doesn’t mean we hate you in particular or we really suspect you in particular; it just means that we don’t know for certain that you aren’t related to one of these guys or something. Does someone see my point? Okay. Good.
Or maybe not, but I’m pretty brain-dead after 10 hours of school, so bear with me.

nothing much going on ......... just started school...... I'll try to get my brain into blogging mode. still finishing up my room, starting spanish class, things like that.

I heard Queens of the Stone Age on the radio the other day. They had pretty much nothing to play that was FCC approved....

A group of deaf people turned up to watch a rock band who were promoting their new album called Songs For The Deaf.

Posters and leaflets had been distributed to advertise Queens Of The Stone Age's show at Spiders club in Hull.


A club spokesman says the party of 37 people expected a special event for the deaf.


The Sun says they left after finding out they'd turned up to watch the band who played Glastonbury in June.


A band spokesman said: "We can see the funny side now but it was a bit baffling at the time. The group never thought their album would cause such confusion."


A club spokesman says bouncers got confused when the party started using sign language.


But they realised the mix up when the group said they were there for the Songs For The Deaf night and threatened to call trading standards if they didn't get in.


He said: "They were angry and said they had phoned us to check we were holding a Songs For The Deaf night. They didn't see the funny side at all and left straight away."